If you’ve ever felt like you’re too much in relationships — too anxious, too sensitive, too afraid they’ll leave — this episode will change how you see yourself.
Join host Ashley-Ann on Beyond the Surface as she sits down with Relationship & Anxiety Therapist Valerie Rubin to uncover the truth about anxious attachment healing and what it really takes to create secure, lasting love.
You’ll learn:
Why talk therapy alone isn’t enough to heal attachment trauma
How somatic healing and nervous system regulation create real emotional safety
The science behind breaking trauma bonds and attraction to emotionally unavailable partners
How inner child healing and brainspotting therapy help rewire old patterns
The first steps to feeling calm, confident, and connected in relationships
If you’ve been stuck in cycles of overthinking, people-pleasing, or fearing abandonment, this conversation will help you begin your CPTSD healing journey, rebuild self worth and love, and learn how to feel safe in relationships — starting with yourself.
Social Media:
https://www.instagram.com/wordsbyashleyann/
https://www.tiktok.com/@wordsbyashleyann
Connect with Valerie:
https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/
https://www.healmyanxiousattachment.com/
https://open.spotify.com/show/1UZDfyhUZgAGIdlEv5VP85?si=9e5fe991a4f34a79
Download Valerie's FREE meditation "How to Heal Your Fear of Abandonment" https://stan.store/healwithval
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Valerie's Journey to Therapy
03:35 Understanding Anxious Attachment
06:16 Cycles of Emotional Unavailability
09:38 Fantasy Thinking in Relationships
12:18 Navigating Parental Relationships
15:10 Compassion and Healing
17:45 Attachment Styles in Different Relationships
19:55 The Limitations of Talk Therapy
23:08 The Importance of Somatic Therapy
27:53 Understanding Safety in the Body
30:08 Navigating Difficult Conversations
34:22 Processing Emotions Before Conflict
37:33 Building Self-Trust and Inner Validation
41:24 Curiosity, Courage, and Compassion in Self-Discovery