When a new baby arrives, the whole family’s nervous system changes. In this episode, we’re talking about what helps families thrive in the postpartum season, especially how dads and partners can become the steady, emotionally present anchor their home needs.
We break down:
What it means to be anchored, not stoic (emotional presence vs. emotional shutdown)
Why nervous system regulation and co-regulation are game-changers for moms, dads, and babies
Two practical breathing tools (Wim Hof method + 4-2-6-2 pattern) that calm your body fast
How to create a “commute reset” to shift from work mode to family mode
Micro-scripts for staying connected instead of defensive in tough moments
The link between emotionally present partners and lower postpartum depression rates
This conversation is for dads, partners, and anyone who wants to understand how emotional steadiness and nervous system awareness can transform postpartum relationships.
Stay to the end for a short behind-the-scenes chat about how parenting, research, and humanity are evolving (and why this generation of parents has the tools to do it differently.)
Resources mentioned:
• DadVantage small group for dads
• Previous episodes on co-regulation & nervous system work
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We're pulling back the curtain. This is our real planning convo on how we align language, debate “steady vs. stoic,” and map the tools before we get into a weekly podcast episode. It’s messy, honest, and meant to bring you right in the room with us.
This isn’t a polished episode; it’s the actual conversation we had to plan Tuesday’s show. We hash out what “steadiness” really means (not robotic, not shut down), talk nervous system regulation and “anchored presence,” and decide how to communicate it so both partners feel seen. You’ll hear how we align language, challenge each other’s angles, and turn lived moments into something you can try at home.
If you love the raw, unfiltered build-up before the mic goes live, tell us...should we do more Behind the Scenes?
Drop a quick DM or reply with your favorite takeaway.
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In this solo episode, Mike Skaggs — co-founder of Postpartum Together — speaks directly to the men stepping into fatherhood, partnership, and purpose in a changing world.
He shares a vision for a new kind of manhood—one built not on control or performance, but on presence, steadiness, and love. Drawing from his own experience in the NICU with his daughter, Mike reflects on what it means to protect through presence, to lead through calm, and to anchor your family through the chaos of postpartum life.
This episode explores nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and how men can practice the strength that steadies everything else. Because your family doesn’t need a perfect man—they need a present one.
Learn about working with Mike + Chelsea:
Book a free connection call with us
modern fatherhood
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redefining masculinity
men’s mental health postpartum
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Early parenthood can fry your nervous system.
Hello overstimulation, zero bandwidth, and snapping at your partner or kids.
In this conversation, Chelsea and parent coach Manu Brune break down what co-regulation actually looks like between partners and with your baby, and how small, body-based tools help you move from survival mode to a livable rhythm.
We name the signs of dysregulation (short fuse, shutdown, spirals), why routines can help or hurt, and how to use simple anchors—breath, movement, flexible rituals—to bring your system back online. We also talk about the pressure to do it all, and why community lets you “borrow calm” when yours is gone.
If you’ve thought, “I should be handling this better,” this episode shows you how to build capacity instead of guilt.
More about Manu and Beyond Birth Basics:
Insta: Beyond Birth Basics: Parenting Reimagined (@beyondbirthbasics) • Instagram photos and videos
Website:Beyond Birth Basics | Coaching in Columbus, OH
Preorder her book: Book | Beyond Birth Basics
Work with Postpartum Together:
Insta:Chelsea Skaggs || Relationship Coach for Parents (@postpartumtogether) • Instagram photos and videos
Current Offerings:Chelsea Skaggs Coaching
Book a free connection call : Calendly
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Becoming a dad after a baby arrives can shake a man to his core. In this episode, Mike opens up to share fears, emotions, and invisible battles many fathers face in the postpartum season. From feeling like they’re on the outside looking in, to wondering if they’re enough, we unpack what’s really going on behind the quiet moments and unspoken worries.
We explore why presence matters more than perfection, how provision without connection can feel like absence, and what it looks like for dads to build their own parenting playbook. Whether you’re a new father, a partner trying to understand him, or someone supporting a growing family, this conversation will give you insight into the emotional landscape of modern fatherhood and how dads can thrive, not just survive, in this new role.
Listen if you’ve ever wondered:
Why dads often feel disconnected after a baby
How to bridge emotional gaps between partners
What it takes to feel confident as a new father
Why being present matters more than doing it all
If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything you can for your family but still wondering if it’s enough, you’re not alone.
A quick connection call can help you figure out what’s really going on under the surface and how to start feeling like a team again.
Book your free call here, and let’s talk about what support could look like for you two.
Keywords: fatherhood, postpartum, emotional connection, presence, family dynamics, inadequacy, parenting challenges, support for dads, mental load, parenting playbook
In this second part of The Stories We Tell Ourselves series, Chelsea and Mike get into how the stories we carry in early parenthood shape connection, intimacy, and identity.
They unpack why emotional disconnection and constant stress make couples feel distant, how to rebuild psychological safety, and why nervous-system regulation is key to closeness.
You’ll learn:
How to externalize negative stories and stop the spiral of resentment
What “matrescence” and “patrescence” really mean for your identity as parents
Why emotional safety is the foundation for physical intimacy after a baby
Practical ways to reconnect and repair when you’re both running on empty
Whether you’re feeling stuck in survival mode or missing the spark in your marriage, this episode offers real talk and practical tools to help you feel like a team again.
Keywords: emotional disconnection after baby, intimacy after baby, postpartum marriage help, matrescence, new parent identity, nervous system regulation, relationship coaching, postpartum relationship advice
Mentioned past episodes and links:
Regulation and the Nervous System
Emotional or Physical Connection, Which Comes First?
Book a connection call with us here to learn more about how we support pregnant, postpartum, and current parents in their relationships.
Conflict after a baby is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to break your relationship. In this episode, Chelsea and Mike go deeper than their Babies & Bumps workshop to unpack the real difference between couples who thrive and those who drift apart: Repair.
You’ll hear:
Why conflict itself doesn’t predict divorce, but failure to repair does (thanks, John Gottman).
How rupture in relationships is like a muscle tear — painful, but with repair, it builds strength.
The dangerous stories we tell ourselves about our partners and the antidote of curiosity.
Practical tools like code words, repair steps, and “the story I’m telling myself…” to stop resentment from spiraling.
Why humility and vulnerability matter more than being right.
If you’ve ever felt like parenting is heavier because you’re not on the same team or you want to make sure your teamwork is solid before the baby arrives, this episode is for you.
🔗 Links & Resources Mentioned:
When your newborn goes to the NICU, nothing feels “normal.” In this honest conversation, author and creative director Emily Rosen shares the 16-day NICU journey with her son Max, the grief of leaving the hospital without your baby, and the small lifelines that help you keep going. We talk day-to-day NICU rhythms, supporting partners, what friends can actually do, and why Emily wrote Waiting for Max—a children’s book that helps siblings (and grown-ups) understand NICU life with hope, not fear. If you’re in it now or love someone who is, this one’s for you.
Preorder: Waiting for Max
Connect with Emily: Instagram @EmilyRosenCreative
TikTok @Emily.Rosen.Creative
Guest: Emily Rosen — author of Waiting for Max, creative director, mom of two.
Topics we cover:
The moment plans change: premature labor, fast decisions, and naming later
What a “normal” NICU day looks like (feeds, skin-to-skin, rounds, notes)
The partner dance: care, tears, pancakes, and trying to sleep
What to say (and not say) to NICU parents
Tiny practical love: Venmo, freezable food, pump-part help
Self-compassion after birth trauma + letting go of “should”
How Waiting for Max helps siblings process scary environments
Hope for the mom in the uncomfortable hospital chair
Book launch details + why representation of NICU stories matters
Timestamps
00:39 Intro + Chelsea’s NICU story
02:19 Meet Emily + family
03:49 Max’s birth + 16 days in NICU (SVT, feeding/growing)
06:39 Why write Waiting for Max + who it’s for
10:27 What those early hours really felt like
14:09 A “typical” NICU day: feeds, hand-washing, rounds
16:29 Partnering through stress, pancakes, and naps
19:38 How friends can help (specifics that matter)
21:32 Therapy, self-blame, and compassion
23:39 Deciding to write the book
26:46 The lobby moment + grief of not going home together
31:38 A message to the mom in the chair
33:33 Sunshine, short walks, tiny resets
34:30 Where to find the book + who it helps
39:15 Max today: DJ, dance parties, tender big brother
40:34 What’s next: a “Waiting for…” series (surrogacy story)
Schedule a connection call with Chelsea: Calendly.com/chelseaskaggs/connection-call
Ever feel like your brain has 27 tabs open—and none of them can close?
That’s the invisible load of parenthood: The endless mental and emotional labor that keeps a family running but often falls on one parent without ever being named.
In this episode, Chelsea and Mike break down:
What the invisible load actually looks like in early parenthood (hint: it’s more than chores)
Why it so often falls unequally, even in good partnerships
The cycle of resentment it creates when it stays hidden
A simple 3-step framework—See it. Say it. Slay it.—to start redistributing the weight today
Whether you’re pregnant and wondering how to prepare, or already in the thick of diapers and daycare forms, this conversation will help you shift from scorekeeping to true teamwork.
👉 Listen in, grab our free Mental Load Brain Dump Template (your new reset button), and if you’re ready to go deeper, book a Connection Call with us to talk about the kind of relationship you want to build.
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Tired of having the same fight on repeat with your partner?
One of you wants to hash it out right now, the other goes silent, and suddenly you’re not even arguing about the actual issue anymore.
You’re arguing about how you argue.
Sound familiar?
In this episode, Chelsea and Mike break down processing styles in marriage after baby—external vs. internal processors—and why these differences get louder when you’re tired, stressed, and stretched thin as new parents.
You’ll hear how this dynamic showed up in their own relationship, why stress and flooding make small clashes spiral, and the simple tools couples can use to break the demand–withdraw cycle.
Whether you’re an exhausted parent feeling stuck in the same arguments or a couple who wants to grow stronger after baby, this conversation will help you:
Understand your own processing style (and your partner’s).
Recognize the nervous system’s role in miscommunication.
Use 4 practical tools to calm conflict and reconnect as a team.
Because your baby deserves parents who don’t just survive parenthood, but thrive together.
Book an connection call with us: Calendly
Get our go to questions for a 5-min daily check-in: 5 Questions to Stay Connected to Your Partner — Chelsea Skaggs Coaching
👉 Tune in now and start building healthier communication in your marriage after baby.
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Early parenthood has a way of putting every crack in your relationship under a spotlight. In this candid conversation, Chelsea and Mike pull back the curtain on the pain points they faced after having kids and the lessons they wish they’d learned sooner.
From buried baggage that resurfaces under pressure to communication breakdowns and the mental load that nearly pulled them apart, they share the struggles, the breakthroughs, and the hope that comes with learning to work as a team.
If you’ve ever thought, “Why didn’t anyone tell us it would be this hard?” this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with real-life insights and tools to help you save some heartache and start building the kind of connection that lasts through sleepless nights, identity shifts, and big transitions.
Resources
Learn more about our 6-Week Relationship Coaching Program: postpartumtogether.com/welcome
Grab your free Postpartum Planning Checklist: postpartumtogether.com/postpartum-planning
Book a Connection Call with Chelsea: calendly.com/chelseaskaggs/connection-call
PS: If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who’s in the trenches of early parenthood. And if you loved it, please take a moment to leave a 5-star review — it helps more couples find the support they need to thrive, not just survive, after baby.
Are you constantly saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”?
In this episode, Chelsea and Mike get honest about people-pleasing, the “eldest daughter” martyr mindset, and how overstuffed calendars and invisible expectations quietly drain your marriage and family life.
Together, they share how learning to set boundaries, stop overscheduling, and get clear on your values (instead of everyone else’s rules) can completely change the tone of your home. You’ll hear real stories about:
Why saying no feels impossible (and why it matters for your marriage)
How filling every blank space on your calendar sabotages connection
What happens when you stop living by other people’s rules and start living by your family values
Simple practices that help couples create more rest, joy, and clarity
If you’ve ever felt stretched thin, stuck in “good mom” or “good spouse” mode, or unsure how to align as a family, this episode will give you a refreshing and practical perspective.
✨ Want to go deeper? Join Chelsea and Mike’s Rewrite the Rules Workshop — a live, donation-based virtual event designed to help you uncover your core family values and use them as your compass for time, energy, and money decisions. Reserve your spot in the next workshop here: Postpartum Together Events
Learn more about Postpartum Together Coaching
On this off-the-cuff parenting podcast episode, Chelsea and Mike get real about fatherhood, parenting grief, and the pressure to be present.
From crying at the bus stop to reflecting on kids growing up and what it means for your marriage, this conversation covers micro-griefs in parenting, dads and emotions, and communication in parenting.
If you’re a mom or dad navigating parenting transitions and wanting to build stronger parent connection in your relationship, you’ll find yourself nodding along.
🔗 Book your free parent connection call here: calendly.com/chelseaskaggs/connection-call
🎥 And here’s the Kitty High Five we mention: Kitty High Five
Motherhood was never meant to be a solo act.
In this episode, Chelsea sits down with Stephanie Fornaro, founder of Hello Nanny, to talk about why accepting help isn’t a weakness, it’s wisdom.
We explore the emotional, relational, and practical layers of building your support system, from financial independence and partnership dynamics to the difference between nannies and family assistants. Stephanie shares her personal journey of overcoming guilt around getting help, and how her mission is empowering parents to thrive, not just survive.
Whether you’re navigating postpartum, juggling toddlers, or simply craving more presence in your parenting, this conversation is your permission slip to drop the “do it all” mindset and start creating your own village.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
Why accepting help is a strength, not a failure
How financial independence impacts your relationship
The difference between a nanny and a family assistant (and why it matters)
How to build a support system that fits your family’s values
The role of one-on-one time with your kids in a busy season
Overcoming the guilt of asking for help
Resources & Links:
Connect with Stephanie on the Hello Nanny site
Follow Hello Nanny on Instagram: @hellonannydotcom
Is your stress response a sign you're failing, or a sign you're human?
In this episode, Chelsea and Mike get real about what stress is actually trying to tell us and how it impacts connection in relationships. We'll explore how everyday tension can become a source of strength if we know how to come back to safety, together.
You’ll hear:
The psychology of rupture and repair—and why it matters more than “getting it right”
Why we break down when one person tries to carry the emotional load for both
How friendship, co-regulation, and nervous system safety are deeply linked
Plus, the one question that can transform your relationships:
“Do you have the capacity for this?”
If you’ve been stuck in reactive conversations, missed signals, or simmering resentment, the first step back to each other might be simpler than you think.
🎁 Download the Reconnection Kit—with 8 free communication scripts—to make your next hard conversation easier (and more productive).
Learn more about working with us here.
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co-regulation in relationships
stress and resilience psychology
why community matters for mental health
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repair after relationship conflict
“Let’s just figure it all out right now…”
You’ve said it. Or your partner has. And before you know it, it’s 10:30pm, you’re in survival mode, and the ‘solution’ turns into another fight.
In this episode of Better Relationships After Baby, Chelsea and Mike get honest about why trying to fix your relationship during fight-or-flight doesn’t work and what to do instead.
You’ll learn:
What happens in your brain and body during conflict
Why “just talking it out” often backfires
The neuroscience behind repair and regulation
How to pause a fight without ignoring it
Tools you can use to come back together in a healthier, more connected way
This is the next step after last week’s viral episode on feeling touched out. Together, they unpack what stress really does to our relationships and how to build safety, repair, and teamwork in the hard moments.
“You can’t fix a relationship in fight-or-flight. But you can come back stronger.”
🎧 Missed last week’s episode? Listen to: Touched Out: What Your Nervous System Is Trying to Tell You
🔄 Reconnection Kit for Couples: Download Here
💬 Work with Chelsea & Mike: Coaching Options
References:
Gottman Institute: Physiological Self-Soothing During Conflict
NIH Study: Stress and Marital Communication
Keywords:
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relationship repair after conflict
nervous system and conflict resolution
postpartum relationship struggles
co-regulation for couples
how to stop fighting with your partner
stress and communication in marriage
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emotional disconnection in relationships
nervous system dysregulation and intimacy
Ever felt like you want a connection, but the thought of one more person touching you makes your skin crawl?
You’re not cold. You’re not broken. You might just be touched out.
In this episode, Chelsea and Mike dig into what’s really happening when physical affection feels like too much, especially in the postpartum season. Using Polyvagal Theory as a framework, they explore how your nervous system responds to chronic stress, the mental load, and overstimulation.
They talk about:
Why being touched out is not just a mom thing (though it hits moms hard)
The science behind why your body says “no” even when your heart says “yes”
How to recognize when your nervous system is in shutdown or high alert
The power of co-regulation (and why it’s more effective than just pushing through)
Tools that help you reconnect even if you only have five minutes
This isn’t about fixing your partner. It’s about understanding yourself, offering compassion, and having new language to break old cycles.
Want to dive deeper into the science?
👉 Link to Dr. Sarah’s podcast with Dr. Stephen Porges's team
Ready for simple ways to rebuild connection at home?
👉 Link to the Reconnection Kit for Couples
Curious about the card deck we mentioned?
👉 Link to Love Lingual Cards
This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt close, but also miles apart, and wants a better way back to each other.
You’re in the same room, but it feels like miles apart.
You love your partner, but you feel more like co-managers than a couple.
Sound familiar?
In this episode, Chelsea and Mike get real about the signs of emotional disconnection that show up after having a baby, often quietly and gradually. From scorekeeping and silence to intimacy struggles and the nervous system overload no one warns you about, they unpack what drifting apart really looks like and why it’s not a sign you’re broken.
If you’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch, wondering how you got here—or how to get back—this episode is for you.
You’ll hear:
How emotional disconnect shows up in everyday life
Why resentment and avoidance don’t mean you’ve “fallen out of love”
Tools to start reconnecting without pressure or blame
A powerful reframe: “The story I’m telling myself is…”
📥 Grab the free Conversation Starters for Tired Parents:
https://postpartumtogether.com/communication-scripts
💬 Want our help rebuilding together? Join our 6-week couples coaching program: https://postpartumtogether.com/welcome
You’re not alone. And you don’t have to stay disconnected.
Tell us what you thought of the episode: chelsea@postpartumtogether.com
When the world feels like it’s burning politically, socially, & emotionally, what do we do as parents?
In this episode, Chelsea and Mike get honest about what it means to raise kids in today’s tense climate and why your home might just be the most powerful place of resistance.
From stress-induced doomscrolling to boundary-setting in your own house, they unpack how overwhelmed couples can protect their peace, raise emotionally intelligent kids, and reclaim joy as an act of radical parenting.
This conversation explores:
The hidden toll of always being “informed”
How to parent with purpose when you're burned out
Why joy and connection are survival tools for families
What it means to use your privilege without burnout
Real talk on relationship tension, social media pressure, and choosing fun on purpose
Whether you’re at a protest or simply trying to keep your home a refuge, this episode is your reminder: You are doing something powerful just by raising kind kids in a heavy world.
💬 Let us know what resonated most. And if you're looking for tools to lighten the load, grab our Mental Load List Template.
If you're wanting to create a home environment of refuge, but your tension with your partner is getting in the way, let's talk about how our guided couples' support can help you make it a reality.
<<GET THE FREE MENTAL LOAD LIST TEMPLATE: https://chelseaskaggs.kit.com/9116bb8436>>
Once we learned about the mental load, we thought we were on the same page. But that first conversation? It brought up more frustration than clarity. In this episode, we share how our first attempt to talk about the mental load went sideways, the common mistakes couples make in these moments, and the small shifts that helped us move from blame to real teamwork.
Whether you're just learning about the mental load or you've tried bringing it up (and hit a wall), this episode gives you real talk, relatable moments, and practical ways to start the conversation again — with more connection and less conflict.
This episode is audio from a live chat between Chels + Mike. Should we start a "Mornings with Chels and Mike" segment? Let us know!