Very strange thing happened over the weekend that I wasn't expecting in anyway shape or form. Which would probably add to my reaction, but I don’t see how I could have prepare myself for what transpired. I have to prefix this to say that I did not have that much sleep that night before and I was feeling a little emotional and tender to begin with. However, I share my story because I dont feel alone in the connections that I made, and I feel like it is good for me to share and get light in old stories.
Top three take away.
1. You have no idea where emotional reactions will blindside you. Become thankful for them, and not fear them. They are a timely reminder to process your shit and be done with it. Not one got hurt by your ugly cry, but you will be holding in hurt if you dont process your reaction.
2. YOU ARE WORTH TIME. YOU ARE WORTH ENERGY. YOU ARE WORTH LOVE. and no you dont have to perfect to be worthy. You are allowed to make mistakes and get confused and be wrong. It is how you process those mistakes that will help you. Being right all the time is like walking on a tightrope. You dont get to wavier, and it is scary, and hurts your feet... Learning to fall and fail means you can become fearless.
3. You have no idea which ways you are going to impact your child. Trying to predict and mitigate creates new and wondrous ways your can stuff up. Just ask Oedipus. Best you can aim for is making sure your stuff is sorted, as it comes up, as it passes by. That is how I learn to be better, to do better. I am allowed mistakes, I own them and process them and ask for forgiveness, and aim not to do them again.
Last tip - importation came from strange places. Let it.