Here’s a new one, the FBCI has put out a public bounty on a cryptid! I’m Vox and you’re listening to Not Really Radio

So in a move that has surprised at least one Tecumseh resident - that would be me for those keeping score at home - The Federal Bureau of Cryptid Investigation has broken their long time refusal to admit they put bounties on cryptids and announced a reward for anyone who can bring in the Beaufort Street Banshee.

The Banshee arrived seven nights ago from Manchester Michigan and has been keeping half the population of Tecumseh awake every night since with her crazy banshee wail. I can hear you wondering, “how do you know all this Vox?” I’m glad you asked.

Experts from the FBCI reached out to me, literally. I was walking along Chicago Blvd when a black nondescript government vehicle pulled up beside me and a gloved hand reached out through the window to give me this message which reads as follows:

"The strange wailing sound bothering Tecumseh citizens belongs to a banshee. It is our belief this may be the Beaufort Street Banshee from Manchester Mi. Our agents are working tirelessly around the clock to locate and apprehend the banshee. It’s important we move carefully as we don’t want to trigger a mega wail which would  essentially cause every living thing within a seven mile radius to spontaneously combust. For anyone questioning the threat of this cryptid we'd like to point out the squirrel riot of three days ago was triggered by what we refer to as a banshee burp. Imagine that times a million. That’s a lot of paperwork that we’d prefer to avoid. Plus, you know, the loss of human life would be tragic. Any information leading to the apprehension of the banshee should be reported immediately to the FBCI and will be rewarded with money. Like real  money. At the very least not monopoly money. Maybe coupons. Plus Al also says I have to include a request for information leading to the arrest of Chester Chase Bounty Hunter since he’s Al’s white whale and the whole reason he joined the FBCI in the first place."

I’m not so sure about that last part, guys, Chester Chase is kind of a hero around these parts.

But, at least now we know what the noise is. It’s a banshee. You know I know a little something about banshees. I saw this documentary once and if I recall correctly you just need to find the O’flannery crypt, pick up the O’flannery staff  and the banshee should come right to it. Unless of course Scooby-Doo is not a credible source for cryptid information. I have a hard time believing that though.

Regardless, it’s good to know what we’re dealing with, and in true Tecumseh fashion, we’ll deal with it together. Let’s hope the FBCI move quickly or that Chester Chase is drawn to the case. I certainly wouldn’t want our Not Really Radio live event on April 30th at 7pm at Covenant Church to be sullied by a banshee with bad manners! Until next time, this is Vox and you’ve been listening to Not Really Radio. Hey wait a minute! Today is April 29th! Our live event is April 30th!

See you tomorrow, Tecumseh!