In this week’s Fast Five, we hitch a ride with a former Army Ranger, wake up in a medieval fever dream, and head to space to fight a rock monster that cuddles gravity like a teddy bear. Also: what is the virtue of patience? And how do you escape a fog that may or may not be alive?
Five beers. Five movie pitches. And only one will become next week’s Feature Film.
This Week’s Beers and Bonkers Pitches:
🍺 Destination Unknown – Fieldwork Brewing
A retired Army Ranger turned Bloober driver picks up a mysterious passenger. She doesn’t give a drop-off… just says: “Take me to a destination unknown.” 🚗💀
🍺 Broken Kingdom – New Trail Brewing
A man wakes up in a fantasy kingdom. The only way to break the curse? Win the hand of the princess. And also a jousting tournament. And maybe slay a dragon.
🍺 The Heaviest Matter of the Universe – Brewlihan
Humanity’s last hope is sent to retrieve a cosmic artifact… only to find it’s guarded by a massive space golem who thinks it’s a bedtime toy. 🪨🧸
🍺 Virtue of Patience – Burial Beer Co.
A man finds himself in a purgatory-like test of patience. If he passes, he might earn a spot as one of the Four Horsemen. If not? He waits forever.
🍺 Fogscape – Jersey Cyclone Brewing
A mysterious fog rolls into town, cutting everyone off. Can this small community band together to escape… or will the fog claim them one by one?
🎙️ Vote Now:
Only one idea makes it to Feature Film status, and you decide which.
Vote on Spotify, YouTube, or Instagram.
• Website: https://beermethatmovie.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie/
• Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie
• Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie
00:00 - Intro
01:18 - Recap: Gumballhead
10:24 - BOTW: Cold Hearted IPA
13:13 - Fast Five Begins
14:06 - Beer #1 Destination Unknown
19:45 - Beer #2 Broken Kingdom
25:20 - Beer #3 The Heaviest Matter Of The Universe
32:52 - Beer #4 Virtue Of Patience
37:29 - Beer #5 Fogscape
42:57 - Decision Time!
46:18 - Outtakes
In our 37th Feature Film, we chew our way into Gumballhead—a prophetic street performer trapped in a gumball machine costume… and possibly reality itself. After one too many candy-coated warnings come true, Gumballhead becomes a viral oracle. But when a chicken conglomerate with ties to defense contracts takes interest in his chewy powers, the bubble starts to stretch.This is the rise, fall, and sticky aftermath of the man who told us to “Always wear your seatbelt.” And maybe also… “Consume the yolk.”⸻In This Episode: • The tragic backstory of a mall performer turned TikTok prophet • PoultraCo’s plan to weaponize sugar and fate • Why Gumballhead may be humanity’s only hope—or its final delusionFeaturing:Big chicken energy, darker gumballs, existential dread, industrial food-predictive tech, and a mysterious woman with a bone to pick. Gumballhead is a bubblegum sci-fi horror epic—and it will pop.About the Beer: • Brewery: 3 Floyds Brewing • Name: Gumballhead • Style: Bright American Wheat with a twist of prophecy and doomConnect With Us: • Website: https://beermethatmovie.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie/ • Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie • Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieLeave a comment with your favorite gumball prophecy. And remember—Vote for next week’s Feature Film on Spotify, YouTube, or Instagram. Your pick might just shape the timeline.00:00 - Intro01:25 - Act 1: Bubblegum Prophecies16:49 - Act 2: Fowl Play26:30 - Act 3: A Bursting Point38:26 - Epilogue
In this week’s Fast Five, we’re serving up five fresh beer-inspired movie pitches, including one killer listener submission that might just become our next Feature Film. From cursed hotel service to ancient kazoo mythology, things get weird fast.
This Week’s Beer-to-Movie Madness:
•Gumballhead – A failed mall vendor discovers he can see the future through his gumball machine helmet… and TikTok loves it.
•Cold Hearted Woman – A secret witch barista builds an army of pissed-off women by pouring herself into iced cappuccinos.
•Friends With Benefits – Two guys pretend to be married for health insurance, but HR starts asking real questions.
•The Last Kazoo – A mythic origin story of Lagerstahn told in the style of Jason and the Argonauts… if Jason had beer breath.
•Ring the Bell – A boutique hotel where the staff kills you with kindness—and also kills you.
Vote on your favorite to decide next week’s Feature Film!
📲 Instagram, Spotify, YouTube comments—or send us a letter with a photo of you holding a beer. Shirt on, please.
Follow & Connect:
🌐 beermethatmovie.com
📸 Instagram: @beermethatmovie
🍺 Untappd: BeerMeThatMovie
🎙 Leave a Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie
00:00 - Intro
01:27 - Recap: You Vs You
09:47 - BOTW: Pivo Pils
14:03 - Beer #1: Gumballhead
21:53 - Beer #2: Cold Hearted Woman
29:22 - Beer #3: Friends With Benefits
37:29 - Beer #4: The Last Kazoo
45:54 - Beer #5: Ring The Bell
In Feature Film #36, we take a beer-fueled journey into the chaos of optimization gone too far. Meet Jim: burnout husband, master procrastinator, and reluctant user of a sketchy AI self-improvement app. What starts as calendar syncing and text replies spirals into full-blown identity theft when a synthetic version of Jim starts living his life better than he ever did.
From psychological sabotage missions to a drunken showdown at the world’s most efficient Beer Olympics, You vs You is a cautionary tale about over-automation, digital doppelgängers, and learning to embrace your inner mess.
Featuring:
• A government-grade AI with a flair for date nights and betrayal
• A sabotage montage that weaponizes doomscrolling and fidget spinners
• Kenny “The Chug” Smith, beer Olympian and monster truck philosopher
• A final battle between man and machine… in sleeveless flannel and jean shorts
🔔 Subscribe for new movie madness every Wednesday
🍺 Vote for your favorite idea in our Fast Five episodes
🧨 Tell us which line made you spit out your drink
About the Beer:
•Brewery: Ever Grain Brewing Co.
•Name: You vs You
•Style: Crisp, calculated, and probably plotting your replacement
🎙 Connect With Us:
• Website: https://beermethatmovie.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie/
• Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie
• Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie
📢 Hashtags:
#BeerMeThatMovie
#FeatureFilmPodcast
#ComedyPodcast
#MoviePitch
#CraftBeerMeetsCinema
#YouVsYou
#AIClone
#SelfHelpGoneWrong
#BeerOlympics
#DrunkVersusRobot
#AIReplacedMe
#DoomscrollingDisaster
#SabotageMontage
#ChugForYourLife
00:00 - Intro
01:42 - Act 1: Terms & Conditions May Apply
21:29 - Act 2: The Better Jim Wins
30:54 - Act 3: You’re Me, But Worse Now
We’re back with five fresh beers, five chaotic movie ideas, and one inevitable showdown. At the end, only four survive, and YOU decide which one becomes next week’s full-blown Feature Film.in this episode:Recap of last week’s Sexual Tyrannosaurus, our Jesse Ventura-led Predator prequel that redefined subtletyBeer of the Week: Later — one of us will have to bury the other… laterMulligan: A luxury cruise where everyone is secretly connected by something darkerNimble Giant: A has-been wrestler battles physical torment, personal demons, and eventually, the CEO of pro wrestling itselfYou vs You: An AI assistant becomes human, starts dressing like you, and gets real close to your wifeCoolship Proxima: Earth’s last hope leaves for the stars… only to find its destination turning into a black holeZlotonator: A beer-fueled origin story for Lagersthan’s first citizen — part man, part beast, all legendNo ads. No codes. No overpriced nose-hair trimmers. Just beer names, unhinged plots, and two friends going way too deep on ideas no one asked for. Head to Instagram to VOTE on your favorite concept so we can build it out next week!Follow & Connect:🌐 beermethatmovie.com📸 Instagram: @beermethatmovie🍺 Untappd: BeerMeThatMovie🎙 Leave a Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieHashtags:#BeerMeThatMovie #FastFive #CruiseShipThriller #AIWifeStealer #BlackHoleVoyage #LagersthanLore #MoviePodcast #BeerPodcast #ComedyPodcast00:00 - Intro01:04 - Recap: Sexual T-rex09:41 - Beer Of The Week: Later13:04 - Fast Five Begins13:38 - Beer #1: Mulligan23:03 - Beer #2: Nimble Giant31:55 - Beer #3: You vs You38:33 - Beer #4: Coolship Proxima44:00 - Beer #5: Zlotonator50:06 - The Final 4 — Get Ready to Vote!
Before he fought the Predator… he seduced spies, ripped off miniguns, and deathrolled a cult leader.This week, we’re rewriting the Predator playbook with a totally unlicensed, absolutely unhinged origin story for Blaine (Rhett) “Sexual Tyrannosaurus” Cooper. From gator-wrangling in the Louisiana swamps to unleashing pheromone-fueled chaos in Laos, this movie is 100% swamp sweat, zero subtlety.Will Rhett “Animal God” Cooper embrace his destiny as the reincarnated T-Rex sex deity? Or just keep yelling one-liners and tossing grenades at ancient dino cults?Expect: • Exploding jungles and forbidden passion • The CIA’s most confused agent, Dillon, dismissing dino runes • A truffle pig sidekick with political aspirations • And the most feral love scene ever mistaken for livestock distressListen now to hear the full breakdown, wild improv, and the dumbest best backstory we’ve ever pitched.⸻🔔 Subscribe for new movie madness every Wednesday🍺 Vote for your favorite idea in our Fast Five episodes🧨 Tell us which line made you spit out your drink⸻🍻 Featured Beer:Name: Sexual TyrannosaurusBrewery: Lobik BrewingStyle: Bold, swampy, and hoppy⸻🎙 Connect With Us: • Website: https://beermethatmovie.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie/ • Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie • Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie⸻📢 Hashtags:#BeerMeThatMovie #SexualTyrannosaurus #PredatorParody #ActionMoviePodcast #cultcinema #PodcastComedy #BlaineBackstory #SwampBond #TrufflePig2024
00:00 - Intro01:50 - Act 1: Born to Be Wild (and Also Lethal)21:56 - Act 2: Jungle Boogie & Blood Contracts43:30 - Act 3: Predator Protocol
This week, we’re back with five new beers and five original movie pitches—only four survive, and YOU get to vote on which one becomes next week’s full-blown Feature Film.
Also in this episode:
🦍 Recap of “Boots and Buckles,” our pirate buddy epic featuring a monkey sidekick, a dance-fighting revolution, and the mysterious Iron Taint
🧻 A bus bomb thriller powered by diarrhea (yes, really)
🌲 The dark sequel to The Lorax, introducing his toxic nemesis: The Moraxe
🎸 Jesse Ventura stars in Sexual Tyrannosaurus, the Predator prequel you didn’t know you needed
🥩 Chef drama, stolen seafood, and sous-chef betrayal in Industry Discount
🧠 One man wakes up in a world where thoughts aren’t private in The Fool
Remember: we don’t run ads on this podcast—no VPNs, no mushroom coffee, just movie mayhem and a lot of beer. If you want to support us, VOTE for your favorite idea on Instagram or leave us a voicemail at speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie. Your voice might end up on the next show.
New episodes drop weekly. Vote. Listen. Laugh. And maybe poop on a bus.
Follow & Connect:
🌐 beermethatmovie.com
📸 Instagram: @beermethatmovie
🍺 Untappd: BeerMeThatMovie
🎙 Leave a Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie
Hashtags:
#BeerMeThatMovie #FastFive #BootsAndBuckles #SexualTyrannosaurus #TheFool #TheMorax #MoviePodcast #BeerPodcast #ComedyPodcast #VoteForTheFeature
00:00 - Intro
01:09 - Recap: Boots and Buckles
12:28 - BOTW: Narragansett
18:48 - Beer #1: Wet Exit
26:36 - Beer #2: More Axe
34:04 - Beer #3: Sexual Tyrannosaurus
39:46 - Beer #4: Industry Discount
48:39 - Beer #5: The Fool
54:57 - Time To Vote!
What do you get when a washed-up pirate with jazz hands and his boot-wearing monkey sidekick go up against the British Navy’s porcelain-eyed menace? A full-blown, dance-fueled revolution on the high seas.
This week, we’re cracking open a barrel of absurdity and sailing into Boots and Buckles—a buddy-pirate epic where cannonballs fly, alliances form through tap dancing, and monkeys explode warships from the inside.
From desert island hallucinations to the rise of the Lagerstani Navy (a.k.a. the Dirty Clam Crushers), this is the story of how one man, one monkey, and one flaming maneuver changed pirate history forever.
Featuring:
•The legendary Flaming Monkey Maneuver (now banned under monkey law)
•A rally speech so inspiring it made parrots cry
•Glitter, grog, and the downfall of gentrified piracy
About the Beer:
• Brewery: Fieldwork Brewing Company
• Name: Boots and Buckles
• Style: Possibly the most perfect dual-purpose beer Fieldwork has ever brewed
Crack a coconut and join the rebellion.
⸻
Connect With Us:
• Website: beermethatmovie.com
• Instagram: @beermethatmovie
• Untappd: BeerMeThatMovie
• Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie
⸻
Call to Action:
Like, Subscribe, and let us know in the comments—what would your pirate rebellion speech be titled? Bonus points if it involves jazz hands.
00:00:00 - Intro
00:09:09 - Act I: A Monkey and a Man Walk Into a Tavern
00:34:32 - Act II: Uniting the Seas
00:57:13 - Act III: Rewrite the World
01:12:07 - Epilogue: Buckingham is Buckle Dome
In Fast Five #33, we’re unleashing five new beer-fueled movie pitches — and only four survive to make it to the poll. That’s right: one idea gets banished to the Beer Me Vault, never to be featured (unless we change our minds later). But the top vote-getter? That one becomes next week’s full-blown feature film.
Last week we melted hearts (and possibly a few faces) with Let It Morph — our 32nd Feature Film, a nostalgic shape-shifting alien buddy story. But now? It’s time to vote on the next cinematic fever dream.
This Week’s Beers – What Will They Become?
-Zombie Wars (Submitted by Lance) — Will office drones discover their inner warrior when real zombies invade their workplace… or are we already the undead?
-Another One (Submitted by Brian) — Is this a doom-scroll thriller about algorithmic mind control… or a secret origin story for George Washington’s cloned siblings?
-Boots and Buckles (Submitted by Lee) — Could it be a pirate buddy comedy? A simian-led revolution at sea? Or the origin story of America’s first rum-based monarchy?
-Shadow Clock (Submitted by Rich W) — Can your death day be hacked? What if one man’s countdown to the end… suddenly changes?
(Note: One beer was banished to the Vault. Sorry, Tooth Fairy cult thriller fans — your time may still come.)
VOTE NOW:
Head to Instagram @beermethatmovie
Vote for your favorite pitch — the winner becomes next week’s feature film!
Connect With Us:
• Instagram: @beermethatmovie
• Voicemail (Speakpipe): speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie
• Website + Vault Voting: beermethatmovie.com
• Untappd: untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie
#BeerMeThatMovie #FastFive33 #ZombieWars #AnotherOne #BootsAndBuckles #ShadowClock #CraftBeerPodcast #MoviePodcast #WeirdMovieIdeas #VoteToSurvive #LetItMorph #CloneSaga #NoAdsJustChaos
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:59 - Recap: Let it Morph
00:10:18 - Request For Feedback
00:12:18 - BOTW: The Hustle Is Dank
00:19:41 - Ad Break?
00:20:35 - Beer 1: Zombie Wars
00:29:14 - Beer 2: Another One
00:42:27 - Beer 3: Dent
00:49:35 - Beer 4: Boots and Buckles
00:56:32 - Beer 5: Shadowclock
01:02:08 - Go Vote Now
A crashed alien ship. A shape-shifting blob. A town where nothing ever happens… until now.In our latest cinematic fever dream, we’re headed to Tranquil Pines — a sleepy Midwestern town where four high school friends stumble upon a mysterious creature named Morph who can become anything. Rambo? Check. Your crush? Unfortunately, also check.As government agents close in and tempers flare, the boys must confront their own fears, friendships, and desire for greatness — all while helping their new alien friend get back home.Think: Stranger Things meets E.T. meets Duck Hunt.With booby traps, emotional growth, light gun heists, and a Rambo-shaped farewell you won’t forget.Meet the Crew •Ethan – The nerdy leader with a heart of gold •Milo – Wannabe cool kid with a Rambo obsession •Sam – The anxious tech genius •Lee – The sensitive artist with hidden strength •Jenny – The sharp, no-nonsense love interest •Agent Thorne – The ruthless government agent with daddy issues and a badgeThis Week’s Plot Highlights: •A glowing goo alien who says “shipping and handling” •A montage of near-death light-gun scavenging •Morph shapeshifting into a dead CIA director •A farewell scene so beautiful you’ll salute the starsTUNE IN NEXT WEEK for our Fast Five episode, where YOU get to vote on which beer-inspired movie becomes our next full Feature Film.Until then… keep your finger on the trigger, your bandana tied tight, and your moral compass pointed home.Subscribe, Like & Drop a Comment:What would you do if Morph showed up in your backyard?#LetItMorph #BeerMeThatMovie #SciFiComedy #RamboBlob #FastFiveNextWeek
In Fast Five #31, we’re back to the chaos you know and tolerate — five beers, five movie pitches, and one vote that decides which unhinged idea gets the full Feature Film treatment next week.
Last week, we wrapped up the Muffin trilogy (for now). This week, we’re pitching everything from mystical martial artists to guilty men in chainmail. You’ll hear the five pitches, but only four make it to the vote. The weakest idea gets the axe — forever.
So listen close, pick your favorite, and head to Instagram to vote. Let’s see what cinematic monster rises next.
This Week’s Beers — What Will They Become?
Shaolin Monkey Attack — Will it be a martial arts revenge saga? A sentient monkey uprising? A banana-fueled buddy cop flick?
Let It Morph — A sci-fi transformation comedy? A metaphor for puberty gone wrong? A knockoff Power Rangers noir?
Limitless Light — Will it be a low-calorie mind control thriller? A cult that worships LEDs? Or a guy who microdoses sunlight?
Guilty Knights — A medieval courtroom drama? Chainmail mobsters? Or just horny time-traveling knights with a secret?
Double Scoop — Is it a dessert-fueled heist? A dystopian ice cream cloning facility? Or a noir thriller where the cone always cracks?
VOTE NOW:
Head to Instagram @beermethatmovie and vote for your favorite pitch! The winner becomes next week’s Feature Film.
Stay Weird With Us:
Voicemail: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie
Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie
Website: https://beermethatmovie.com
Hashtags:
#BeerMeThatMovie #FastFive31 #CraftBeerPodcast #MoviePodcast #WeirdMovieIdeas #VoteToSurvive #ShaolinMonkeyAttack #LetItMorph #GuiltyKnights #LimitlessLight #DoubleScoop #NoAdsJustChaos
00:00 - Intro
01:21 - Recap: They Don’t Call Me Muffin for Nothing
10:43 - BOTW: Be That As It May (Collab Brewers)
15:51 - Beer #1: Limitless Light
22:23 - Beer #2: Shaolin Monkey Attack
28:56 - Beer #3: Double Scoop
35:33 - Beer #4: Guilty Knights
42:06 - Beer #5: Let It Morph
Five years after liberating the clones and torching the country club, Muffin is back—and this time, she’s not unhinged. She’s undercover.When global elites start disappearing and returning as flawlessly sculpted, emotionally vacant versions of themselves, Muffin trades exotic dance therapy for spywork to uncover the truth. Alongside her mentor Donna (still as sultry as ever), Muffin uncovers a clone replacement scheme orchestrated by a petty, sentient AI named BA Ballstarch.It’s an erotic conspiracy thriller with bellybuttons, backup clones, and USB-devices that need a back door—and it’s all somehow your fault.This Week’s Feature:Beer: They Don’t Call Me Muffin For NothingBrewery: Funktastic Mead and BeerStyle: Sultry. Subversive. Pastry Stout🎧 Connect With Us:Website: beermethatmovie.comInstagram: @beermethatmovieLeave a voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovieVote for the next feature next week on IG!00:00 - Intro02:22 - A Feature Film BOTW?!05:32 - Act 1: Disappearances & Donna28:26 - Act 2: Bellybuttons and Ballstarch53:34 - Act 3: Protocol Activated#MuffinProtocol #BeerMeThatMovie #FeatureFilm31 #CloneThriller #SpySatire #EroticEspionage #AIConspiracy #BallstarchIsReal #BellybuttonsMatter #ExoticDanceTherapistPI #PodcastMovie #YouChoseThis
In Fast Five #31, we break the rules and bend the muffin. A brand-new beer inspired by a previous feature film (Muffin on the Backside) just landed on our doorstep — and it’s so damn good we’re throwing out the vote.
Next week’s Feature Film will be a Muffin sequel (inspired by the new Muffin beer from Funktastic Meads & Beer), but you get to decide which unhinged continuation we bring to life. Will it be Harrison's erotic clone moon uprising or Jon's political muffin thriller? Head to Instagram and cast your vote before the muffin cools off.
We also recap last week’s Feature (Bambi’s Revenge), and oh yeah — we still crank out brand-new movie pitches based on this week’s beers.
🍺 This Week’s Beers Become:
•Church Music: The Sexy Nun origin story?
•Tidal Balance: The moon explodes, Merpeople discovered
•Power Nap: Everyone's a cyborg, everyone needs sleep
•Doll's Eye: Not the Nanny Cam!!?!?
VOTE NOW:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie
Choose the Muffin sequel that will become next week’s Feature Film!
Stay Weird With Us:
•Voicemail: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie
•Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie
•Website: https://beermethatmovie.com
#BeerMeThatMovie #FastFive31 #MuffinOnTheBackside #MuffinSequel #CraftBeerPodcast #MoviePodcast #WeirdMovieIdeas #FeatureFilmVoting #CloneSaga #BambisRevenge #NoAdsJustChaos
00:00 - Intro
02:01 - Recap: Bambi’s Revenge
09:58 - BOTW: Muffin on the Backside
19:26 - Follow BMTM
20:29 - Beer #1 - Church Music
29:21 - Beer #2: Tidal Balance
36:46 - Beer #3: Power Nap
42:00 - Beer #4: Dolls Eye
47:48 - Beer#5 (The Prologue)
49:57 - Beer#5 (Backstory)
51:04 - Pitch #1: Muffin Rises
59:08 - Pitch #2: The Muffin Protocol
When pollution poisons the forest and developers bulldoze his home, Bambi doesn’t just mourn—he mutates. With a chain-smoking Thumper, a stitched-on trigger finger, and a hunger for vengeance, this isn’t your childhood deer. It’s nature’s R-rated revenge fantasy, and no one is safe from the wrath of Bambi’s Revenge.
Listener Greg dropped this banger in our Fast Five comments, and thanks to your votes (and some close competition from Grannies Gone Wild), it clawed its way to the Feature Film spotlight.
Subscribe, leave a review, and tune in next week when we launch a new Fast Five with a very special beer—possibly involving clones, sand, and questionable ethics.
00:00 - Intro
02:32 - A Message From Greg
07:17 - A Bambi History Lesson
13:04 - Act 1: The Blood Begins In Spring
31:46 - Act 2: Operation Bambo
49:19 - Act 3: A Son for a Mom
🗳️ Want to vote on the next Feature Film?
beermethatmovie.com
IG: @beermethatmovie
Vote in the Instagram story poll next Wednesday!
#BambisRevenge #BeerMeThatMovie #FeatureFilm30 #EcoHorror #ForestJustice #ThumperGoesHard #RamboDeer #NatureStrikesBack #HorrorComedy #BeerPodcast #SatireCinema #ListenerChoice #NoAdsJustMovies
In our 30th Fast Five, the listeners came out SWINGING. We’ve got grannies with grenades, deer with trauma, and a secret knock that opens way more than doors. Join Jon and Harrison as they turn four wild listener-submitted beers (plus one mystery pick from Harrison) into the kind of movie ideas that should absolutely not be greenlit — but we’ll try anyway.
🍺 The Beers & The Madness:
•Bambi’s Revenge (Submitted by Greg) — A genetically enhanced deer leads a woodland militia against mankind in a post-apocalyptic eco-war.
•Too Kind (Submitted by Brian) — In a town where niceness is mandatory, one man resists… and ends up on the wrong side of the casserole cartel.
•Secret Knock (Submitted by Lance) — A haunted basement door, a forbidden rhythm, and a town full of cultists who really like… knocking.
•Grannies Gone Wild (Submitted by Rhett) — When a retirement home is gentrified by tech bros, four grannies go full vigilante and livestream the revolution.
•Untappd Find... Tune in to find out what makes the fifth beer totally unhinged, or even a prequel for a previous film idea.
Like what you hear? You might need help.
📲 GO VOTE for your favorite pitch on Instagram @beermethatmovie and help decide which of these gets the Feature Film treatment.
🔗 Stay Weird With Us:
•Voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie
•Untappd: untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie
•Instagram / TikTok / Bluesky: @beermethatmovie
•Website: beermethatmovie.com
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:45 - Recap: Giggle Water
00:11:35 - BOTW: Dive Beer
00:18:31 - Beer 1: Bambi’s Revenge
00:30:15 - Beer 2: Too Kind
00:42:08 - Beer 3: Secret Knock
00:50:38 - Beer 4: Grannies Gone Wild
00:57:35 - Beer 5: Frost Hammer
01:03:15 - Deciding on the Vote
01:06:35 - Outtakes
What happens when the world’s richest minds run a 5K… and someone spikes the water?
In our 29th Feature Film, Giggle Water, a charity race turns into a mind-melting mockumentary when an anonymous protestor doses the hydration stations with LSD. Suddenly, Silicon Valley’s most powerful CEOs are tripping mid-race, unlocking childhood trauma, seeing hallucinated demons, and questioning everything from capitalism to crypto. One CEO thinks he’s being controlled by an ancient reptilian overlord… another realizes he’s been the overlord all along.
This satirical trip through greed, guilt, and ego death explores whether humanity needs monsters to justify its worst behavior—or if we’re the real villains, just in performance fleece. It’s The Social Network meets Midsommar, but with more sweating and much dumber shoes.
🍺 Beer That Inspired It:
• Brewery: Melvin Brewing
• Beer: Giggle Water
• Style: Wild, slightly dangerous, and probably not FDA approved
🎧 Connect With Us
🌐 Website: beermethatmovie.com
📸 Instagram: @beermethatmovie
🍻 Untappd: Beer Me That Movie
🎤 Leave us a voicemail: speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie
#GiggleWater #BeerMeThatMovie #FeatureFilm29 #Mockumentary #TrippingCEOs #TechSatire #PsychedelicComedy #CapitalismOnDrugs #LSD5K #YouChoseThis #PodcastMovie #EnlightenmentAsAService #ProphetraIsReal
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:34 - Vault Announcement
00:04:35 - Act 1: Race to the Bottom
00:37:37 - Act 2: Run for your Mind
01:04:33 - Act 3: Winners Drink Giggle Water
What happens when you combine five beers, zero budget, and two podcast hosts who legally shouldn’t be left unsupervised? You get Fast Five #29 — a wild ride of beer-inspired movie pitches you’ll either love… or deeply regret voting for.
This week’s cinematic disasters include:
•Giggle Water — A mockumentary where CEOs accidentally save the world after drinking LSD-laced water during a charity 5K.
•Vortex Hands — The worst superhero name ever. The best punching power known to man.
•SCIENCE! — Aliens gave humans the gift of science… and they’re really starting to regret it.
•Glitter and Doom — A 10-year-old dance troupe accidentally summons a demon — and has to dance-battle it back to hell.
Plus: We’re sipping Lightning Drops from Resident Culture Brewing (Charlotte, NC) — an absolute hazy IPA banger.
⚠️ VOTE FAST — We’re recording the next episode one day after this drops — so get to Instagram and vote in the poll before it’s too late.
Poll Choices:
• Giggle Water
• Vortex Hands
• SCIENCE!
• Glitter and Doom
Want Hound on the Loose to survive from the vault? DM us your pick — it counts.
Follow us on socials so we can keep dodging ad reads for meat-scented dog toothbrushes and psychic vitamins for cats:
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie/
Website → https://beermethatmovie.com/
Leave us a voicemail → https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie
#BeerMeThatMovie #FastFive #MoviePodcast #CraftBeerPodcast #ResidentCulture #LightningDrops #HazyIPA #ComedyPodcast #IndiePodcasters
00:00 - Intro
02:10 - Recap: Couch Time
12:10 - BOTW: Lightning Drops from Resident Culture
16:27 - Beer #1 - Giggle Water
26:25 - Beer #2 - Vortex Hands
33:27 - Beer #3 - SCIENCE!
41:01 - Beer #4 - Glitter and Doom
47:50 - Beer #5 - Hound on the Loose
What if your college couch… was evil?
Two roommates score the ultimate Craigslist futon. It’s soft. It’s supportive. It whispers to them at night. As missed classes pile up and snack bags multiply, one pre-med roommate starts to wonder: Is the couch just comfy, or is it slowly draining their souls?
Welcome to COUCH TIME — a slacker horror-comedy where laziness is a curse, chips are a sacrament, and the only way out… is off the couch.
This is our 28th feature film, and the people have spoken! You voted this twisted tale into existence, and a huge thanks to Mad Mole Brewing for tipping the scales by sharing it on Instagram. Oh—and did we mention? This is our first-ever THC seltzer feature. So yeah. Buckle up, or better yet… lie down.
📣 Follow Us & Stay Comfy
🌐 Website: https://beermethatmovie.com
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie
🍻 Untappd: https://untappd.com/user/BeerMeThatMovie
🎤 Send us a voicemail: https://www.speakpipe.com/beermethatmovie
CHAPTERS
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:41 - Act 1: Free Couch Energy
00:33:14 - Act 2: The Reclining Spiral
01:00:44 - Act 3: Throw Pillow Showdown
Tags:
#CouchTime #BeerMeThatMovie #FeatureFilm28 #THCSeltzer #MadMoleBrewing #SlackerHorror #ComedyHorror #PossessedFurniture #LazyBoyGoneRogue #YouChoseThis #PodcastMovie #BravoQuotesFromDudes #UntappedChaos
Welcome to Fast Five #28 – the only podcast episode where we pitch five completely original movie ideas based on actual beers, and none of them are safe for the Oscars… or humanity.
This week, we recover from the chaos of Stuffed Cheeks (Feature Film #27) and dive headfirst into five new cinematic disasters waiting to happen. We’ve got a Angels vs Demons + Amish thriller, a sentient couch conspiracy, and yes, time manipulation via craft beer.
And YOU get to decide which one becomes our next feature film. That’s right — five beers enter, one beer-inspired movie leaves.
🎥 Featured Beers:
•Breakaway Blonde – She’s faster than your alibi.
•Overcast Café – Coffee, clouds, and possible secrets.
•Couch Time – The furniture is alive… and it has thoughts.
•Activator – Espionage, and possible anti-DraftKings-Propaganda.
•Newfallen – A mystical winter tale or an angelic rumspringa
🎧 Listen now, laugh with us, and then head over to Instagram to cast your vote for next week’s feature film: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie
📈 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe to help us keep this madness going!
⸻
CHAPTER MARKERS:
00:00 - Intro
01:32 - Recap: Stuffed Cheeks
08:16 - BOTW - Hop Beard from Fonta Flora
12:27 - Beer #1 - Breakaway Blonde
20:32 - Beer #2 - Overcast Cafe
26:30 - Beer #3 - Couch Time
33:57 - Beer #4 - Activator
43:32 - Beer #5 - Newfallen
51:54 - Get Ready To Vote
#FastFive #BeerMeThatMovie #CraftBeerPodcast #MoviePitches #ComedyPodcast #IndieFilmIdeas #BreakawayBlonde #CouchTime #HopBeard #PodcastVoting #FeatureFilmVoting
What happens when you mix Saw, Hot Ones, and a haunted Golden Corral? You get STUFFED CHEEKS – a horrifyingly hilarious tale of competitive eaters, cursed chicken wings, and one man’s journey to unlock… The Noble Stomach.💀 Hosted in a sinister mansion by an unhinged philanthropist with a vendetta against gluttony, five elite eaters must devour their way through twisted food challenges or face deliciously deadly consequences.Starring our beloved podcast punching bag Brian D, Stuffed Cheeks is Beer Me That Movie’s 27th feature film, and the first to end with someone being literally digested into another dimension.You voted for this chaos. We delivered it hot, greasy, and with way too much wasabi.Catch the full episode now, and don’t forget — you get to vote on what movie we make next!👇🗳️ Voting & behind-the-scenes: https://www.instagram.com/beermethatmovie📈 Tags:#StuffedCheeks #BeerMeThatMovie #FeatureFilm27 #HorrorComedy #FoodHorror #CompetitiveEating #BuddhistSuperpowers #TheNobleStomach #Satire #SplatstickCinema #YouChoseThis #PodcastMovie
00:00:00 - Intro
00:03:03 - Act 1: An Invitation to Feast
00:39:57 - Act 2: The Hunger Games (But Way Grosser)
01:07:27 - Act 3: The Last Supper