In my mind, it goes without saying that we live in a different era than we did ten years ago. We live in a time that for those of us who are empathetic and inclusive, the innter-landscape of each person we meet is somewhat considered. I say somewhat because not all people do this all of the time. We can daresay that definitely not all people do this.

I had a conversation with someone earlier about someone else who may not attend the Thanksgiving meal with their family. This invited a deeper conversation about why this person may have the feelings they do about attending (which aren’t good). From there, I did feel the need to bring up what I think may be obvious to most, but evidently, not to everyone that sometimes socioeconomic situations prevent us from engaging in cross-country travel to attend an event outside of said person’s place of residence.

That was where I left it.

However, I came away from this conversation being reminded why I feel it is important to acknowledge my own feelings about the holidays. You see, my childhood holidays were filled with mixed feelings. Some happy and some sad. Sad feelings during childhood tend to overshadow the good feelings in my life. This is just my reality. It is something you may not relate to (or maybe you do). And this is ok. I thing sharing more topics around trauma-informed experience may be able to help another person, so I have decided to share more about this in my writing. I have also done a great deal of personal work to get to this point.

It goes without saying that I am not alone, here. So many in the world have common experiences with trauma and how to deal with theirs. I decided to write about this now, as the holidays are usually difficult for me. When I was a kid, this time of year felt like something that I endured, which is different from feelings of summer time that were mostly free and easy during my childhood. All was aglow. That was a time of abundance in our lives with lush fruits and vegetables that made up a great deal of my memories. I love food!

Food will anchor me into this coming Thanksgiving. With so much love in our house, it will be difficult to feel the feels from yonder year. I love the idea of this year being in our San Francisco home hosting my part of my in-law crew. It will be fun and delightful and I can’t wait! However, the jagged edges of feeling punted to my grandparents most Thanksgivings that my mother needed a break left me feeling uncomfortable. She sometimes would make a Thanksgiving lunch for us to eat before we were off to eat at my grandparents.

It felt strange.

I didn’t fully understand the idea of us eating twice, considering how much time she spent on the lunch. I guess in the end, her frustration was knitted together with disappointment in having a split family for her girls.

In recent years, I have begun to understand that much of her frustration was around our socio-economic class at the time. I always felt like we were poor. We knew others who were better off. Their lives looked fun. Don’t get me wrong, we had plenty! I had my own record player, and what else did I need other than Barbies. I had those, too.

However, the real things in life are often those bits that reside in the shadows of things. Those things that are unsaid, unseen, and unfelt completely.. those are the things that do matter so much, just as much as the dreams, hopes, and resilience made during all of those shadowy moments of growing up and childhood. Working through the murky shadowing parts of myself has been the best gift to myself and those around me. Forgiving and acknowledging the tough folks and people in this world may take time, but it is a burden lifted, once accomplished.

From Rift to Shift: how to get through the holidays and have some fun!

The things is. There may not be enough time. That is why most people don’t do the following work in the time that you DO have. Hear me out, a little intention goes a long way.

Simply considering your thoughts about your feelings around the holidays and why you feel the way you do, is an activity that offers good hygiene for your energy. This work can begin at any time! You can take time to sit and think about who you will be interacting with. If you’ve had a rift with someone, maybe you can make a shift!

There has never been a better moment to consider how you comport yourself and what you can bring to a group dynamic. your energy can be like an elixir to heal others with your presence. Forgiveness can burble up and you can make amends with old ways of being. Presenting yourself as a whole new person, fresh and willing empathize with others, even those who may need a little extra attention and forgiveness.

I bring this up because you know that you know someone who gives someone in the family the silent-treatment or have had a falling out. This is a reality for so many, no matter your socio-economic bracket. Everyone has conflicts.

The intention that you bring into your family gathering and friendsgivings this year can be that of inclusion, empathy, magnanimous in nature. You can truly create some new special moments by holding space for yourself and others to simply be human, complicated, difficult, and sometimes easy-going to. Just enjoy the space that you create with simply considering what lies ahead and making some efforts to ameliorate difficulties for yourself and others. Enjoy the community spirit and the generosity that you give to others with the gift of INTENTION.

Thanks for reading Beautify Inside & Out! This post is public so feel free to share it.

I felt like bringing this up and out today. I wonder if you resonate with this? It would be a pleasure. For those who like reading, please find the transcript of this podcast episode below.

Angela Rosoff holds certifications in yoga, face yoga, and Ayurveda Digestive Health. Holistic support for women is her focus. She is also a content creator for local and international media outlets and has been featured in the Sun.uk, Sun.us, and The New York Post. Angela teaches weekly yoga and face yoga classes, as well has hosts online courses to help women and yoga teachers beautify from the inside out! As a Healthstyle Emporium Wellness Coach, Angela shares an affordable way to work 1:1 to bring more health into the world. Check out her website: Beautify Face Yoga to learn more!