What does parenting do to us? Why do we do it? Why is there such a huge gap between what we think parenting will be and what it is? What are the jobs of Mums and Dads now: What’s a dad when he’s no longer just a provider, what’s a mum when she quite often is? Why, when we think having children will bring us together, does it so often push us apart? How do I know what to teach and model for my children when I don’t know what the world is going to look like in five years time? Why did my parents seem to have so much conviction about these things and I have absolutely none?
Well, I don’t know but luckily there are some really clever people all over the world who are thinking about these things and they’ve agreed to talk to me. So maybe we won’t be able to answer all these questions every week but maybe if we listen to their ideas we can gain some insight and some wisdom and maybe most importantly some perspective and find out what it takes to be a happier parent.
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What does parenting do to us? Why do we do it? Why is there such a huge gap between what we think parenting will be and what it is? What are the jobs of Mums and Dads now: What’s a dad when he’s no longer just a provider, what’s a mum when she quite often is? Why, when we think having children will bring us together, does it so often push us apart? How do I know what to teach and model for my children when I don’t know what the world is going to look like in five years time? Why did my parents seem to have so much conviction about these things and I have absolutely none?
Well, I don’t know but luckily there are some really clever people all over the world who are thinking about these things and they’ve agreed to talk to me. So maybe we won’t be able to answer all these questions every week but maybe if we listen to their ideas we can gain some insight and some wisdom and maybe most importantly some perspective and find out what it takes to be a happier parent.
Ep 22: What we ALL want for Christmas with Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino
Be a Happier Parent
55 minutes
3 weeks ago
Ep 22: What we ALL want for Christmas with Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino
Don't worry it's not all about Christmas! Christmas is a great framework to discuss some really important issues.
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Keywords
gender roles, fatherhood, emotional labor, parenting, equality, family dynamics, holiday traditions, shame, guilt, identity
Summary
This conversation delves into the evolving roles of parents, particularly focusing on gender dynamics in parenting. The speakers discuss how traditional gender roles impact both men and women, the importance of open conversations before becoming parents, and the need for shared emotional labor in family dynamics. They explore the significance of creating joy during holidays and the challenges of breaking down societal norms and gatekeeping. The discussion also touches on the concepts of shame and guilt in parenting, emphasizing the need to redefine identities and scripts around parenthood.
Takeaways
Gender roles are often gendered and can hurt both men and women.The role of fathers has evolved significantly over the years.Conversations about parenting should start before the baby arrives.Emotional labor and cognitive tasks often fall disproportionately on one partner.Teaching boys to notice and participate in household tasks is crucial.Creating joy during holidays can enhance family connections.Mothers should feel empowered to take time away from home.Shame is tied to identity, while guilt is tied to actions.It's important to challenge and redefine parenting scripts.Parents should reflect on their values and identities regularly.
Titles
Redefining Parenthood: Gender Roles and Emotional LaborThe Changing Face of Fatherhood
Sound bites
"Gender roles hurt men too.""Shame is tied to our identity.""Who do I want to be as a parent?"
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Conversation02:53 Exploring Gender Roles in Parenting06:11 The Evolution of Fatherhood06:21 The Importance of Shared Responsibilities08:20 Cognitive and Emotional Labor in Households11:28 The Role of Antenatal Programs13:52 The Impact of Societal Expectations16:43 The Concept of 'Noticing' in Parenting18:58 Creating Joy During the Holidays22:16 Navigating Family Dynamics at Christmas24:52 Breaking Down Barriers to Equality27:37 Conclusion and Reflections29:19 The Dynamics of Gatekeeping and Power31:40 Traditions and the Role of Women33:16 Changing Family Dynamics and Emotional Labor34:54 The Importance of Caregiving Roles36:08 Building Relationships Through Shared Joy39:24 The Challenge of Emotional Vulnerability in Parenting43:53 Learning from Dads: The Value of Different Parenting Styles45:25 Shame, Guilt, and Identity in Parenting
Be a Happier Parent
What does parenting do to us? Why do we do it? Why is there such a huge gap between what we think parenting will be and what it is? What are the jobs of Mums and Dads now: What’s a dad when he’s no longer just a provider, what’s a mum when she quite often is? Why, when we think having children will bring us together, does it so often push us apart? How do I know what to teach and model for my children when I don’t know what the world is going to look like in five years time? Why did my parents seem to have so much conviction about these things and I have absolutely none?
Well, I don’t know but luckily there are some really clever people all over the world who are thinking about these things and they’ve agreed to talk to me. So maybe we won’t be able to answer all these questions every week but maybe if we listen to their ideas we can gain some insight and some wisdom and maybe most importantly some perspective and find out what it takes to be a happier parent.
