Trigger warning: This podcast mentions trauma.
So who am I, really — the person behind the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast? And what first called me onto this path with Ayahuasca more than ten years ago? In this first episode, I take you with me into my very first ceremony. It was not a clean or polished story of bliss. It was a raw encounter with myself: rage that erupted from a place I didn’t even know existed, grief that returned in waves so deep it felt like drowning, and the first time in my life I allowed myself to be witnessed without masks.
This is the beginning of my path, the place where Ayahuasca and integration collided for me. Integration wasn’t something I read about in a book or picked up as a clever concept. It came in the sweat lodge, in the circle, in the dark night where strangers shared their most hidden secrets. It came in the trembling of my own voice when I spoke truths I had never dared to share. That’s when I understood what it meant to integrate — to not just survive a ceremony, but to bring what surfaced into the light of community and allow it to change me.
Ayahuasca Integration is at the heart of this podcast because it has been at the heart of my own healing. When I first drank the medicine, the ceremony opened the shadow I had carried for decades — rage I didn’t know was inside me, grief I had buried since childhood, and the silent voice of an inner child who believed he was unworthy of love. Integration began the moment I allowed that child to be seen, and the moment I let others breathe with me in that space instead of hiding it away.
For me, Ayahuasca integration is not about visions or mystical imagery. It is about what happens after the cup is empty. It is about the sweat lodge, where we sit in total darkness and discover that every person has a story that can break your heart open. It is about the integration circle, where shame dissolves as people listen instead of judge. It is about the collective breath of strangers who suddenly become part of your healing body.
Healing does not happen in isolation. Integration is not something we can do alone. It is conducted together — in sweat lodges, in circles, in songs, in the shared silence after someone has spoken a truth they thought they would never share. That is why I am here, and why this podcast exists: to honor the power of integration, to tell the stories of what it really looks like, and to keep weaving this path with all of you.
In this episode, you will hear:
How my first Ayahuasca ceremony surfaced rage, trauma, and grief.
The scream that changed my energy field and gave me back my space.
Why the sweat lodge became the most powerful moment of integration.
How sharing secrets in community dissolves shame and creates repair.
The shift that made me see love in the eyes of others where I once saw only anger.
Ayahuasca is often called the “grandmother” or the “vine of the soul,” but without integration its gifts can fade or even fracture. Integration means bringing what is revealed into daily life — embodying it, living it, sharing it. This story shows how integration works when it is real: through rage, through tears, through being witnessed, and through weaving the experience back into life with others.
For anyone curious about what Ayahuasca integration really feels like, this episode offers a raw and honest perspective: the dark sweat lodge, the circle, the secrets finally spoken, and the transformation that follows when we conduct the work together.
📖 Full transcript available here:
https://ayahuascaintegration.org/2025/10/03/ayahuasca-integration-first-ceremony-sweat-lodge/
🌐 Learn more about Ayahuasca Integration:
https://ayahuascaintegration.org
👥 Need an Integration Coach?
https://davidvox.com
If this story resonates, subscribe to the podcast, share it with others walking the path, and join the ongoing work of integration — the practice of turning ceremony into lasting change.