Welcome back to Asking for Myself, where I ask all the questions you're too afraid to. Today we’re talking about a topic that’s near and dear to my heart, sexual trauma. This episode contains content about a topic that is understandably highly sensitive for many people. If this topic is triggering for you, it may be difficult to listen to this episode. That being said, the goal of this episode is to be a guide and a warm hug to all survivors of any form of trauma. If it’s too much for you, you can listen in chunks or skip it entirely. We don’t go into any graphic detail, but rather focus on coping strategies for healing and guidance to partners and friends or family who want to support someone they love. 🥰 

Here are some of the questions we address:

• What is trauma?
• How does trauma impact the body and how does that show up during sex?
• Is there a benefit to labeling sexual trauma/assault? 
• Why do we blame ourselves when really we are the victim?
• Why do we so often freeze in response to threat? 
• Does the freeze response make it harder to report or prosecute sexual assault?
• How do we determine who we can confide in about a sexual trauma? 
• What is the best way we can support a loved one who has experienced trauma?
• Why do so many of us engage in risky behaviors post-trauma?
• How do we choose partners that feel safe without settling for someone just because they feel safe? 
• How can you tell your partner about your assault? 
• Can or should you tell a hookup about your triggers and trauma? And if so, how? 
• Is therapy the only option to heal from sexual trauma? 
• What does it mean to be a trauma-informed practitioner? 
• How can BDSM/kink help us heal from trauma? 

Today’s brilliant and incredible guests: 

Rafaella Smith-Fiallo, licensed clinical social worker, founder of The Healing Exchange, and co-creator of Afrosexology. 

Alyssa Pressman, licensed clinical therapist & certified trauma-informed sex and relationship coach. 

Sponsors:

• Uberlube — luxury, silicone lubricant. Use code TABU for 10% off your purchase. 
• Honey Play Box — body-safe, affordable toys. Get 25% off your purchase with code TABU. 

Sexual trauma support resources:

• Pleasure After Trauma Class with Rafaella Smith-Fiallo, LCSW
• Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life by Dr. Holly Richmond
• Instagram accounts: @heal.and.chill, @thesurvivorstoolbox, @weareungirls
• Find a trauma-informed therapist on Therapy Den

Self-care & mental health resources:

youfeellikeshit.com 

getmoodfit.com

wysa.io 

Suicide resources:

Text ‘HELLO’ to 741-741 for the Crisis Text Line or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for the National Suicide Lifeline.

For LGBTQIA+ youth under 25, get 24/7 crisis intervention & suicide prevention lifeline support with The Trevor Project. Text ‘START’ to 678678 or dial (866) 488-7386. 

Get the support you deserve. You really, truly do deserve it. ❤️