After the mosque attacks, questions still linger for many children. Katy Gosset asks: how can we help kids who are struggling, and find ways to discuss both racism and other cultures with them?
The Christchurch mosque attacks are over but questions still linger for many children. Katy Gosset considers how we check in with kids who are struggling, and looks at the bigger issue of discussing racism and better cultural understanding with children.
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"It's something she talks about now, about the mosque and the people who've gone."
Christchurch father, Simon*, has been discussing the recent terror attacks in Christchurch with his daughter, Maeve*.
Three year olds are generally in the throes of potty training, learning pre-school protocols and asking big questions about the world around them, notably, 'Why?'
On 15 March 2019, a gunman shot and killed 51 people in two Christchurch mosques, and parents grappled with how to share the terrible news with their children. That's a big 'why?' for anyone to grasp.
Now, most of the flowers at the memorial walls have gone and many parents have turned again to school spats, sibling arguments and busy lives.
However, clinical psychologist Catherine Gallagher said it was still important to keep tabs on how children were coping with what happened.
"It's knowing them enough to know how are they doing, are there some changes in their patterns of behaviour? Is their mood a little bit flatter? If those things are happening, it's about being with them and supporting them around what they're going through."
She said some children would be able to move on easily.
"I think the proof is in the pudding. If kids are doing okay and their routines are back in place and there are no significant changes in terms of personality, then they probably are doing okay."
Ms Gallagher said young people who appeared detached from what had happened need not be challenged too robustly.
"We don't want to say 'do you know just what a big deal this was?' because that's not helpful."
However, she said another way to introduce the topic could be to discuss any casual racism that appeared while watching movies or other media.
"You might bring that to their attention because, yes, the child might go, 'oh yeah, whatever, Mum.' But you're kind of putting it out there and it remains a live issue."…