Porn is everywhere and very available. You can bet your child has come across it somewhere online - or will soon. Katy Gosset asks: how do we work through our own awkwardness and start conversations about it with our kids?
Pornography is everywhere and more children are seeing it than ever before. Katy Gosset looks at why we need to talk to kids about porn and how we start the conversation.
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Rhonda* is the only woman in her household
"Even the ruddy dog is male."
And with two teenage sons, she's learnt to be open about the topics that come up including sex or body image.
Although it's fallen to her husband to field the trickier questions about penis size.
"Well, they see things and then they go, 'What's normal?'"
Some of those things teenage boys are seeing are unrealistic images of both bodies and sexual behaviour portrayed in increasingly pervasive online pornography.
Rhonda's son, Nate*, was encouraged to view pornography by a more mature friend and was embarrassed when his mother discovered it on his computer.
Rhonda and her husband explained that pornography didn't depict real relationships and it wasn't appropriate for him to view sexual material until he was sexually active.
But, at least they're talking about it.
Eliza's* teenage boys simply don't want to know.
"I've had that kind of conversation but, you know, they just go, 'Aarrhhh, I don't want to hear that from you.' So those conversations are very short. It's very much in passing."
Clinical psychologist, Catherine Gallagher, said talking about pornography with children was vital.
"My main message to you is at least have these discussions with your kids."
"They're going to be traversing these issues as they develop so to leave them to sort it out for themselves might be a really risky strategy."
Ms Gallagher said the discussion should be part of the broader conversation about sex and positive sexuality rather than a topic in isolation.
"This can help children see where your values come from and can give them some anchor points to form their own opinions from."
It was important not to convey viewpoints too rigidly as Ms Gallagher said children were unlikely to start a conversation about a topic they believed was taboo for a parent.
"If I have such a strong emotional response to why porn is wrong or porn is right, a child knowing that's not a conversation to start up." …