This episode has been a long time in the making, as it has taken me a while to publicly have this sensitive conversation.
I have realized as much as death is part of life, there are a lot of taboo cultural undertones when dealing with others going through grief. My brother who was also my best friend past away earlier this year. It has been a messy up and down with a lot of realizations process, and I am so glad I had the honor of conversing with Kat about this!
Kat is a queer, chronically ill, first-generation Xicanx femme survivor who chooses to practice care through death & grief work. They believe that by intentionally holding space for people during some of the most tender and vulnerable transitions of life, we can truly create sustainable, accountable, and reciprocal relationships. You can find them on Instagram @princesa_kata or visit their website, www.katlopez.com.
Through this discussion, we touched on many heavy aspects of going through grief, the assumptions, and societal expectations in our performances "to be well."
One of the biggest lies told to us about healing grief is that it is something we have to eventually get over and there are steps to something our brains and hearts can't possibly fathom in the midst of it.
It's my hope in listening to this conversation you gain a greater understanding and awareness of giving yourself grace and compassion through this type of transition. No one type of grief is the same and this form of trauma affects us all in different ways.
Lastly, grief is not something you just get over but you learn to live with it as things will never be the same and you will be changed because of it.
For anyone who is in the depths of this process my heart goes out to you with love and empathy, and I hope this served as a reminder that you are not alone in this!
Please reach out to Kat or group grief counseling, because you don't have to push on without support!
Lastly, as mentioned: I have recently opened up a cohort of fellow BIWOCs to have these types of conversations, dismantling the control and trauma ingrained in us from colonial/capitalistic control.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ME AND MY WORK YOU CAN ALSO FOLLOW ME @ancestors_mama