Are you tired of feeling like you have to be inauthentic to be liked? Do you struggle with setting boundaries and advocating for yourself, fearing it might damage your relationships?
This week on Amplify, Jess sits down with her dear friend, Kwame Christian, a top-booked negotiation keynote speaker and host of the #1 podcast, Negotiate Anything.
Kwame shares a deeply personal and formative childhood story that shaped his journey from people-pleaser to negotiation expert, revealing how his early experiences led him to compromise himself for the sake of being liked. He explains how this common "people-pleasing pressure" can actually damage the very relationships we're trying to protect.
You'll discover:
- The surprising link between childhood experiences and our adult people-pleasing tendencies.
- How the "big five personality traits" (openness to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and emotional stability) influence our negotiation style.
- Why being overly agreeable can lead to an "emotional hangover" and resentment.
- The profound impact of unspoken boundaries on relationships, both personal and professional.
- Kwame's simple "yes-no-yes" framework for setting and maintaining effective boundaries.
- Why the definition of negotiation is often warped, and how redefining it can empower you in daily life.
- The concept that "assertiveness is teaching the person how to treat you."
- How to navigate the "assertiveness penalty" that women (and other groups) often face in professional settings.
- Why overthinking is your "kryptonite," and how a "shot clock" can help you make better decisions faster.
- The psychological insight that you'll never truly "get over" stage fright, and why that's a good thing.
- How Kwame uses AI daily to amplify his humanity, manage emotions, identify blind spots, and create cohesive negotiation strategies.
- The power of mirror neurons and how our tone and attitude can unconsciously impact others.
About Kwame Christian
Kwame Christian, Esq., M.A. is the CEO of the American Negotiation Institute (ANI) and a leading voice in the field of negotiation. He hosts the #1 negotiation podcast, Negotiate Anything, and his TED Talk has garnered over 600,000 views. He is also a LinkedIn Top Voice and the author of Finding Confidence in Conflict and How to Have Difficult Conversations About Race. Kwame's mission is to make the world a better place, one difficult conversation at a time.
Resources & Links:
- American Negotiation Institute: americnnegotiationinstitute.com
- Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kwamechristian/
- Listen to the Negotiate Anything podcast: https://negotiateanything.com/
- Finding Confidence in Conflict by Kwame Christian: https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Confidence-Conflict-Negotiate-Anything/dp/0578413736
- How to Have Difficult Conversations About Race by Kwame Christian: https://www.amazon.com/Have-Difficult-Conversations-About-Race/dp/1637741308
- TEDx, Finding Confidence in Conflict: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6Zg65eK9XU
Amplify with Jess is produced by Walk West and brought to you by Mic Drop Workshop.
