We need the help of the Holy Spirit, even in all kinds of relationships. The other thing is that, as a longtime believer, it's worrying that you still haven't risen from a state of emotional depression that never goes away, as if the Spirit of God weren't that source that produces permanent joy and hope. Don't stop in time; take a step forward and talk to God. Heed what the Holy Spirit tells you, and He will free you from every sinful situation.