The Natural History Museum – a fine institution full of dusty, dead things. A bit like the House of Lords. Satire.

But how do you get into the Museum’s collections? Win a raffle? The X Factor? Who knows?

One man who hopes he does is Douglas Smith. Will he get his shrew past the tough entry criteria? Will he die at the hands of a psychotic doorman? Let’s find out!

Tom Thomas – Dan Bond
Douglas Smith – Matt Kirk
Alexander Twitch / Fred – Brian Mackenwells
Lady Elstree Loudmouse – Francesca Richards
Betty Boxer / Market Trader – Anna Trapmore
Billy Block / Doorman – Simon Wilson

Written by Dan Bond & Brian Mackenwells

Produced by Dan Booth

Some sound effects provided by Freesound.org and SoundBible.com