The primary obstacles stopping you from being and living how you want are: The lack of trust you have from yourself and others; and your emotional intelligence — specifically, your ability to understand and manage your emotions, what psychologists call emotional regulation. Until you can be trusted, first by yourself, and then by others, you’ll never be who you want to be. You’ll always be living a lie. Inside, you’ll never feel clarity, congruence, or conviction. Said Mahatma Gandhi, “To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.” If you don’t have both character and competency, trust will be low. For example, you may have all the right skills, but lack integrity. Or, you may have high integrity, but lack the needed skills for a specific task. This is why confidence must be earned. A price must be paid to have confidence in yourself and others. The price is trust.