What if we stopped talking about neurodivergent children and started talking with them? In this powerful, practical conversation, dad–daughter duo Cliff Kilmister (host of the Parenting, Autism & ADHD podcast) and Eva (13) share real-world insights on autism/ADHD, school placements, EHCPs, praise that actually helps, and why listening to young people changes everything. Whether you’re a parent, teacher or carer, this episode gives you language, mindset shifts and everyday strategies to help neurodivergent children thrive. 💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK Proudly supported by Carers Card UK — the UK’s #1 carers card. Get recognition, an ID card with emergency info, a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, community access and discounts on everything from days out to glasses — for less than a box of chocolates per year.👉  🎟️ Order your card today 🔗 Resources Mentioned Parenting, Autism & ADHD Podcast (Cliff Kilmister) — search in your podcast app. Eva’s YouTube channel “INSPIRE” — short videos on topics like masking, stimming, and bullying. IPSEA (independent SEND law advice for families): https://www.ipsea.org.uk Gov.uk: EHCP guidance for parents and carers: https://www.gov.uk/children-with-special-educational-needs/education-health-and-care-plans Cliff's Book - What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop Talking" National Autistic Society (resources for home and school): https://www.autism.org.uk Andy’s book — Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge 🧠Three Key Messages Voice over labels: Neurodivergent young people don’t just need adults to speak for them — they need adults to listen to them. Voice, choice and collaboration reduce anxiety and build trust. Praise the process, not the person or the grade: Switch from “You’re so clever/10-out-of-10!” to “I noticed how you stuck with that and found a strategy that worked.” Process-based feedback supports resilience and reduces performance pressure. Regulation makes learning possible: Stimming, doodling/sketchbooks, movement and fidgets are tools, not defiance. When classrooms allow regulation, attention rises and behaviour improves. ⏱️Chapter Timestamps 00:00 — Opening: Why talk with neurodivergent children, not just about them 00:20 — Sponsor: Carers Card UK — recognition, community & discounts 01:41 — Meet Cliff & Eva: lived experience behind the mic 02:28 — Moving from mainstream to an SEN setting: confidence, belonging & hope 07:08 — Diagnosis journey: how long it took and what helped 09:07 — Eva on podcasting: sharing honestly to help other kids feel less alone 12:22 — “Look at me when I’m talking!”: why eye contact isn’t the measure of listening 14:02 — Sketchbooks, routines & self-regulation: doodling to focus 17:08 — EHCPs: what we wish we’d known sooner (and why persistence matters) 23:20 — Rethinking praise: process vs. person/outcome — examples for home & school 29:07 — Eva’s videos: masking, bullying, and making sense of school 32:20 — Hopes for the new school year: safety, acceptance and the right support 35:24 — Free/independent SEND advice & why to keep asking for help 39:07 — Guilt, labels & advocacy: you can adapt support before diagnosis 42:26 — What teachers/carers should know: one thing that changes the day 47:14 — Messages to parents and kids: you’re not alone; your needs are valid 49:02 — Has this journey brought the family closer? 51:09 — Eva’s tip: journaling to feel heard and remember what matters 51:53 — Outro & how to share the episode 🎯Why Listen to This Episode? Actionable for home & school: Concrete language swaps and classroom accommodations you can try tomorrow. Lived experience: Hear directly from a neurodivergent teen on what helps — and what harms. For the whole support circle: Parents, teachers and carers get aligned around