In this solo episode, Andy Baker unpacks why calling someone a “good kid” or a “bad kid” (or colleague, or parent) is a trap. You’ll learn how confirmation bias, the fundamental attribution error, and the halo/horn effect quietly shape our judgments—then get practical, trauma-informed ways to move from moral labels to needs-based, descriptive language. Perfect for parents, teachers, and carers who want better relationships, calmer behaviour, and fairer decisions. 💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts.Carers Card UK offers: ID card with emergency info access Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today 🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned Confirmation Bias (explainer) — how we only see what we expect: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias Fundamental Attribution Error — why we blame their character but excuse our context: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error Halo/Horn Effect — first impressions that distort everything after: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect Targeting the Positive by Andy Baker (the TARGET model & de-escalation tools)  Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge 🧠 Three Key Messages Labels limit: “Good/bad” thinking triggers confirmation bias, making us collect evidence to prove ourselves right and miss the full picture. Describe, don’t judge: Swap moral labels (“He’s aggressive”) for neutral, specific behaviour (“He shouted when asked to stop playing”). Curiosity beats certainty. Need behind behaviour: Most behaviours serve a function (survival, regulation, communication, control). When we meet the need, behaviour improves. ⏱️ Chapter Timestamps 00:00 — The “good vs bad” trap: why it feels neat but harms decisions 00:19 — 💙 Sponsor: Carers Card UK 01:40 — Why black-and-white thinking shows up in care, education & home 02:21 — Spectrum thinking: people aren’t heroes or villains 03:14 — How labels drive prejudice, stigma & shame cultures 04:01 — Ignorance vs malice: why learning is non-negotiable in care 04:24 — Psychology 101: confirmation bias 05:10 — Fundamental attribution error in everyday life (and traffic!) 06:01 — Halo/horn effect: when looks & first impressions mislead us 07:14 — Moral lens vs needs lens: “What happened to you?” 08:21 — Practical reframes: replace labels with descriptive language 09:15 — Be a detective, not a judge: 3 context questions to ask 09:35 — The “benefit behind behaviour” (survival, regulation, communication, control) 10:20 — Create a balance sheet: record positives as diligently as incidents 11:14 — Notice & reinforce what you want to see more of 13:07 — Boundaries + understanding: compassion isn’t “excusing” 14:20 — Culture shift: stop cementing identities, start spotting strengths 15:01 — Your one-week challenge: swap judgment for curiosity 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? Actionable: Concrete language swaps & prompts you can use today. Evidence-informed: Social-psychology concepts made practical for parents, teachers, and carers. Relationship-first: A humane, trauma-informed path to better behaviour and trust. 🔗 Connect with Us 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining📲 LinkedIn: Able Training📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk If you found this helpful, please rate, review & share with a colleague or fellow parent/carer who’d benefit. Your support helps the show reach the people who need it most.