For folks with histories of trauma, mainstream parenting advice may not feel relevant. On today’s show, host Dana Pellebon speaks with Dr. Robyn Koslowitz about her new book, Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle, Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be. They talk about how the experience of parenting can be an opportunity to break cycles of trauma, heal, and identify your core values for yourself and your kids. 
Dr. K came to her research from personal experience; as a survivor of childhood trauma, she didn’t want to let the things that damaged her in turn damage her children. But before 9/11 and TikTok, parenting advice didn’t say anything about dealing with a parent’s trauma. Even since, much of the normative parenting advice out there isn’t relevant for people who didn’t have a normative childhood. She wanted not only to understand what was happening to herself when she had flashbacks, for example, but how to communicate with her children about what was happening. 
As Dr. K developed her clinical practice, she wanted to share her experiences with other parents and take away the shame that comes from being a post-traumatic parent. She says that parenting is a chance for people to address their traumas and learn about their kids and themselves. In her book, she lays out a typology of different kinds of post-traumatic parents, from the perfectionist post-traumatic parent, to the disengaged parent, and even those parents who are living in survival mode. She says that breaking these modes can help people build stronger relationships with their kids. 

Dr. Robyn Koslowitz is a clinical child and family psychologist, and author of Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle, Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be. A sought-after speaker, consultant, and media contributor, Dr. Koslowitz has appeared on Fox, CNN, NPR, and more. Her Post-Traumatic Parenting podcast and Targeted Parenting blog on Psychology Today have reached wide audiences, with over 1 million reads. She is a licensed clinical psychologist, practicing in New Jersey, where she and her associates treat children, adolescents and families using a trauma informed approach. Dr. Koslowitz is a leading expert on cycle-breaking parenting, and is a post-traumatic parent herself.
Featured image: the cover of Dr. Robyn Koslowitz’s book, Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle, Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be. 
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