220 - How To Know When To LEAVE Your Church: A Pastor's Honest Advice

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3AM Reset : Intimacy After Porn

Elisha Kolade | Christ - Centered Recovery Coach, Intimacy Expert

222 episodes

6 days ago

The 3AM Reset Podcast is your guide to permanently overcoming porn addiction. Hosted by Elisha Kolade, who fought this battle for over 13 years, this show fuses Christian wisdom, neuroscience, and coaching to reveal how your brain gets hijacked and how to reclaim control. Each episode delivers practical steps to break free from compulsive behaviors and rewire your mind for success in work, relationships, and life. With over 200 episodes, discover actionable strategies to become your best self. Join the journey to lasting recovery.

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220 - How To Know When To LEAVE Your Church: A Pastor's Honest Advice

3AM Reset : Intimacy After Porn

50 minutes 12 seconds

6 months ago

220 - How To Know When To LEAVE Your Church: A Pastor's Honest Advice

In this raw and unfiltered conversation, Pastor Tunde Cole of The Transformers Church shares his journey from experiencing spiritual abuse in church leadership to founding his own ministry focused on truth and freedom. He discusses how to recognize toxic church environments, navigate spiritual abuse, and practical steps for leaving unhealthy church situations.

Pastor Cole also opens up about personal struggles with pornography, revealing how unresolved pain and unforgiveness created a pathway for addiction. Throughout the interview, he emphasizes the importance of prioritizing authentic relationship with Jesus over religious performance, and offers candid insights about the challenges of pastoral ministry and maintaining healthy boundaries with church members.

00:00: Introduction to Pastor Tunde Cole00:59: Who is Tunde Cole: "A guy who loves truth and freedom"01:56: The vision behind Transformers Church05:21: Advice for Christians suffering abuse from church leadership06:11: Understanding your spiritual freedom: "No one owns your life"10:32: Practical steps for leaving an abusive church12:42: Pastor Tunde's personal experience with church abuse15:04: Avoiding church leadership "ambush" situations17:35: Why you shouldn't enter an ambush: "It may take only God's grace to recover"19:27: The importance of forgiveness in spiritual healing20:02: The danger of remaining in toxic environments24:26: Finding true identity in Christ26:30: Using interactive teaching to transform lives28:31: The problem with Christians wanting pastors to do everything31:04: Leading with vulnerability: "Netflix was programming my mind"34:11: Being honest about struggles as a pastor39:10: Pastor Tunde's journey with pornography41:10: The connection between pain and addiction: "Pain and hurt could be a breeding ground"42:55: Fighting spiritual battles: "The force left me and my head was pounding"46:16: The Holy Spirit's role in identifying root issues47:24: Allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you to freedom48:41: Closing thoughts on finding freedom in Christ